Despite what you will no doubt see on world news in the coming weeks, Leaky Libido is not a breeding ground for sub-par boy bands. The allegations–that we take disenfranchised, disillusioned and angry young males into our training camps, where we train them to sing to a low standard, dress them like communists (ie. the same) and send them into the world to wreak havoc by becoming unattainable objects for a whole generation of women, turning them off less attractive men (ie. the entire male population), and thus, causing the inevitable collapse of western civilisation through a lack of workers–are spurious and facetious. It is an ad-hoc story concocted by a discontent author named Tamara Romero, who is upset at the outcome of a game of charades we played last spring. We won’t go into details, there’s no need to open that can of worms again. We will beat this!
The following is a transcription of a conversation recorded in sporadic bursts over the last eighty years. This is due to unforseen circumstances that are not in any form the fault of Leaky Libido, its derivatives, editors, contributors or victims. I mean guests. Guests. Blame the Nazis.
Anyway, this interview is with the amazing Gabino Iglesias!
After what must seem like an eon in your pathetically dull lives, Leaky Libido returns with another dose of hearty fun delivered straight from the teat of my mind.
Actually, it’s just a series of statements regarding developments. However, I spice things up a little by including an image of a cat, and mentioning the word orgasm, twice! Onto the news!
1. I will be posting new author interviews very soon. It turns out that there actually are secret agents who go by the name “surname, name surname”, and they do attempt to thwart evil attempts at world domination. I met a couple in the last few weeks and had to spend a little time in detention, at her majesty’s pleasure – which, as it turns out, was also at my pleasure too (but that is a tale for another time!).
2. I wrote a surreal chapbook that was published by Dynatox Ministries (and yes, there are some copies left!). It features awesome artwork the aesthetic thud hammer, T. W. Harris. Sam McCanna at the fabulous Skurvy Ink has slapped it on a t-shirt:
3. I also wrote another book called “All Art is Junk” and apparently you suckers aren’t buying it in droves like you should be. I put at least 8% of my heart and soul into that mother, and so if you’d do me the honour of purchasing a copy, I guarantee you orgasm after orgasm until you die.
Bizarro Pulp Press didn’t publish it so you could look at it, gawk and then reject it based on the title alone. They published it because it’s brilliant. Here’s what somebody who read it had to say (they chose to remain anonymous due to not wanting to be named):
R. A. Harris wrote this book called All Art is Junk. Thankfully, his book is so unartistic, as to be pornographic, that the title is not self-defamatory. Judging from this book, all art is junk, if it’s made by somebody like R. A. Harris, who obviously thinks the world shines out of his arse.
Stay sexy, slavish fans!
Lo! Step 3 of my scheme unfolds before your very eyes! But wait! what is this? Rather than admit to nefarious and dastardly goals, I have it on good authority that I ought to confound your expectations by disseminating that I am reformed. I no longer harbor ambitions of global revolution and worship. I merely wish to better inform the world about certain writers who I think deserve praise and a spotlight on their faces.
The interview is a little later than usual, because I had to track the
victim guest down (apparently I was looking for the wrong person). But I get besides myself.
Ladies and gentlemen,
This time, I have the pleasure to introduce a fabulous man, who readily admits to being an author of Bizarro fiction and an inevitable in-swirl of zero-dimensional points and a poet, painter, musician, filmmaker, dancer, geneticist, geologist, vampire, and idiot. Yes, of course, I’m talking about none other than Andrew Wayne Adams!
It’s time for the next stage in my master plan for global domination through engineering discontent amongst the populace by spreading disinformation and propaganda about some of my favourite new authors.
This week I have the pleasure of perverting the words of the great J W Wargo, perhaps the greatest psychoanalyst turned nomadic Bizarro author of our century, towards my ambitious scheme.
Behold, the interview begins! Continue reading
LeakyLibido: Hello, welcome to a new segment on my blog where I disseminate, through a puppet interview, top-secret information given to me in confidence by authors I respect. Expect some real juicy gossip and drama folks. So without further ado, I will ask the first question:
Who are you? What are you? Where are you from? What are you about?
Simulacrum: I’m G. Arthur Brown. I’m half Elf. I’m from Maryland, USA (that’s where Baltimore is, for all you fans of the Wire). I’m about five and one half feet tall.
LeakyLibido: That’s all real fascinating stuff, G. Tell me, what are you promoting or writing right now?
Simulacrum: I’m promoting my book Kitten. Part of the 2012 New Bizarro Author Series from Eraserhead Press. So, please, buy at least 5 copies.
LeakyLibido: Oh yeah, I know that one. You can buy that one on amazon. I hear that it’s “one part a nightmarish family saga, and one part a fantastic, surreal voyage of discovery for a kitten. It’s a seriously fun mix of grotesque humour and sombre existential horror”, which sounds nice.
So, moving on. What made you want to write, authentic G. Arthur Brown?
Simulacrum: I received a message from God when I was about 10 years old that I would be a writer. Like many great prophets, I tried to flee my destiny by pursuing, instead, being in a rock band and, briefly, being a comedian. But God tracked me down about 7 years ago and said, “Remember what I told you?”
LeakyLibido: That sounds remarkable. But surely, if God commanded you to be a writer, then why do you write bizarro fiction? I can fathom not that God would wish this filth upon any mortal man, especially not one of his chosen prophets.
Simulacrum: You might as well ask a tree, “Why vegetation?” I tried to write genre stuff: Lovecraftian weird fiction, Gaimanesque fantasy, Anthony Burges-inspired sci-fi. But I kept wanting to subvert and/or pervert the text and forms. Once I found Bizarro, I knew that this was the flag that would be flown over much of my fiction.
LeakyLibido: God does indeed work in mysterious ways. Who else, aside from the Almighty, would you say inspires you?
Simulacrum: Films inspire me quite a bit. Guy Maddin, Terry Gilliam and the Coen Brothers have affected me deeply. Psychedlic 60s rock and Post-punk music have also impacted my ideas about melding weirdness and pop sensibilities. If I’d never been exposed to Devo, the Residents and Syd Barrett, in particular, I’m sure my writing would be entirely different. Comedy has played a big role, too, with Monty Python being one of my first exposures to absurd and surreal techniques.
LeakyLibido: That’s a fascinating list of inspirations. Who would you say are your favourite writers?
Simulacrum: Kelly Link and Brian Evenson tie for absolute favorites. Link has such an amazing dreamlike quality to her prose that it immediately began to change my approach to writing. Evenson has the amazing gift to produce literary effects that you can’t put your finger on what to call them or how he produced them. But these two geniuses are sort of a yin and yang for me, Link being the wonder-inducing daylight and Evenson being the creepy dark hours.
LeakyLibido: You have mentioned a few different musical styles so far. Do you have any particular favourite type of music you like to listen to whilst working? I expect it will be hymn or gospel music, won’t it?
Simulacrum: I generally will try to listen to only instrumental music when writing. Space Oddities 1 & 2, two compilations of quirky European instrumental music intended for educational and public service soundtracks. Sometimes I’ll listen to grim Black Metal, as long as the lyrics aren’t in English (so, Tulus or Khold or Horna primarily). Also the experimental stuff by Swell Maps.
LeakyLibido: Ah, I see. Well, how about telling me something you hate?
LeakyLibido: And one thing you love?
LeakyLibido: Who doesn’t love a bit of cheese? Tell me, young squire – if you were at the point of a sword and the hand that held the other end was attached to an arm that was attached to a torso that was attached to a head, via a neck, and on that head there was a mouth and that mouth did move and sounds were elicited in that movement that formed the words, “sum up your life philosophy in five words”, what, pray, would you say?
Simulacrum: Mind your own business, man.
LeakyLibido: Oh, ok. Well… erm… how do you take your coffee?
Simulacrum: I prefer tea. But if I must have coffee, sweet and light.
LeakyLibido: And if people are cheap (they are) and want to read your stories for free before giving you money in exchange for a joyful experience like what they will experience when they read your book, where should they look?
Simulacrum: A Public Luncheon was published at the Dream People (http://www.dharlanwilson.com/dreampeople/issue32/fictionbrown.html). Holy Olivia Orphanage at Paragraph Line (http://www.paragraphline.com/2012/05/07/holy-olivia-orphanage-by-g-arthur-brown/). And there is a ton of my flash at garthurbrown.blogspot.com.
LeakyLibido: Well, G, thank you for an awesome interview. Despite it getting a little icy at the end there.
Simulacrum: Thank you LL for being an awesome blog.
LeakyLibido: Oh G, you didn’t have to say that.
Simulacrum: Yes I did, you wrote it. In fact, I never said that, this wasn’t part of the interview. You are making this part up as a way of ending the narrative, giving a sense of closure to the preceding interview. I wasn’t even icy, that was you doing it to yourself. I may even look into suing you for defamation.
LeakyLibido: Oh shit, it’s gaining sentience… Quick, shoot it in the head!
*END OF TRANSCRIPT*
I suggest you listen to this music as you read this post:
So, Dynatox Ministries – run by the eminent Jordan Krall, who comes from New Jersey (the location of Jerseylicious, so you know he’s the balls and knows his shit) – is publishing APPARATUS OF CAPTURE, a super surreal and sexy story of mine, as an ultra rare limited edition chapbook. It’s super awesome and chock full of amazing writing that will make your brain spasm with joy and fear that something this superlative could ever come into existence. Dynatox Ministries is publishing some downright nasty weird fiction, and I am proud to be a part of the fantastic line they’re producing.
Now, I am no expert, but having watched the Sopranos I believe that 95% of all men in New Jersey are part of the Mafia. For an idea of the kind of man Krall is, watch this:
Also, having watched Jerseylicious as research before agreeing to a publishing deal with Krall, I have come to the conclusion that 75% of all women in New Jersey enjoy having big hair and OTT make-up. For an idea of the kind of smarts people from New Jersey have, watch this:
If this shit was a film, it would win the Best Picture Oscar. It’s that damn good. Bradley Pitts is the star. He’s super sexy and suits the book perfectly…
Only, Mr. T already bought all the copies of my book, and if you want yours, you’ll have to go through him… This is his message to all you people who want a slice of my shit:
In closing, you should buy my books because it’s cheaper than the Playstation 4, you can instantly share it with your friends, it’s an Oscar worthy story, the cover is sublime (artwork by Thom Harris) and the soundtrack is awesome Darkjazz.
You can get it for dirt cheap too, like $15 in the USA, and $20 worldwide. That’s right, this is global, baby. Just paypal the correct amount as a “personal gift” to Jordan Krall: gorshinary[at]juno[dot]com and you will receive a copy of the book really soon and then you won’t have to imagine anything ever again, I promise you I have made imagination obsolete with this book.
Also, if you’re into reading on your hi-tech gizmos, your iPhones and your Blackberries and all that, you can also video the book as you read it the first time and then watch the video of you reading it in the future to save you the trouble of carrying this massive tome around in your pocket all day. They don’t call me Rob “The Solution” Harris for nothing.
ABORTION ARCADE is a fantastic trio of bizarro tales from a great writer.
In the first story Cameron Pierce manages to turn the zombie story on its head whilst seamlessly blending a romantic tale of heroism and escape into the mix. Perhaps it can be read as a commentary on modern Western society’s desire to produce zombies and consumable products in a pseudo-religious culture full of symbolism and dark intent, or it can just be read as an absurd tale featuring cannibalism, helicopters and a goblin. The prose and characters are typically engaging of Pierce, dark humour mixed in with really quite horrific imagery.
The second story is simply a wtf kind of tale. It begins with a back-up quarterback at Heavy Metal High School being an outsider, a laughing stock almost. Oh, and he’s a werewolf. He must get in an accident, part of the initiation of the world Cameron crafts. What happens after the accident is just brilliant. A series of events leads him to his Heaven, which turns out to be not as great as he imagined, typical Pierce then. Funny, bizarre and certainly different to mainstream nondescript blocks of text. I enjoyed the story a lot. An allegory on what lengths people go to to fit in, and also why you shouldn’t meet your heroes.
The last story is a sad tale about a cycling enthusiast who wants to kill the elephants infesting his and his wife’s apartment. It veers away from that angle quite sharply, becoming seriously poignant and weird at the same time. I don’t want to spoil it at all, so go read it. It truly is fascinating and remarkable that Pierce captures such a visceral world in such a short space of words. My favourite of the three stories in this collection.
Pierce shows he has boundless imagination and a solid prose style in this book. Recommend it to pretty much everybody. The deeper themes are always sensible and interesting, only the surface may put people off. It’s a shame because Pierce deserves to be recognised as a great writer, full of wit and humour and definitely examining the human condition in profound ways. Though not as deep as his novel SHARK HUNTING IN PARADISE GARDEN, this book is probably my favourite collection of his shorter works thus far.
* The book has been recognised as one of the best bizarro short story collections of the year by being nominated for the Wonderland Book Award along with some other fantastic books! Congratulations to Cameron for his achievement!
You can get the book in paperback or for your kindle from amazon here
Or you can check out his amazon page here for his other works
Cameron’s blog is here
Cameron is also the editor of Lazy Fascist Press, an imprint of Eraserhead Press
He has a new book coming out soon titled DIE YOU DOUGHNUT BASTARDS which promises to be a sweet read.
Subscribe to get a chance to win a kindle, but much more impressively, BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNG A TITANIUM SPORK!!!
We at Slices of Bizarro Pie (and by that I mean me: Jeremy) are giving away a brand new Kindle 3G to one lucky reader!
To be eligible for the Kindle 3G, simply subscribe to this blog.
If you’re already a subscriber, then you’re already eligible to win.
The winner will also receive:
–A Titanium Spork.
–Free Kindle copies of any four of my eBooks, chosen from the following:
(Feel free to click on the images to learn more about each book.)
The winner will be chosen once the blog reaches 1000 subscribers. All 1000 subscribers will be eligible to win, and the winner will be chosen at random.
Thank you for your support!
By now, the bizarro novel BROKEN PIANO FOR PRESIDENT by PATRICK WENSICK has become something of a cultural phenomenon. Following the publication of “the nicest C&D letter ever” on his blog. Patrick’s book has rocketed to the top of the amazon.com best-seller chart, reaching an amazing #6.
It all began with a simple cease and desist letter…
Jack Daniels requested that Wensick change the cover artwork of his book the next print. The company even offered to help pay towards the cost of redesigning the cover, but his publisher Lazy Fascist Press, an imprint of Eraserhead Press, declined the offer. They opted to pay for the redesign of the cover themselves.
The offended brand label and the offending book cover:
The letter became the focal point of a media frenzy that gave Wensick and his book exposure unlike anything a bizarro book has ever had before. Time Magazine, The New York Times, Yahoo, Mashable, The Huffington Post, and many other media outlets sought interviews with Wensick and representatives of Jack Daniels.
With such a huge amount of exposure it wasn’t long before BROKEN PIANO FOR PRESIDENT entered the amazon top-10 best seller list, alongside the likes of 50 Shades of Grey. That series of titles shows that it isn’t the content of a book that matters, but how much exposure it receives. I can say with confidence, that Mr. Wensick’s book is much more imaginative, and well-written, than 50 shades.
It currently sits at #6 in the list, a huge achievement, and one that Patrick Wensick and all the staff at Lazy Fascist Press can be extremely proud of.
It’s a true fairy tale story of the remarkable effect internet marketing can have on the success rate of a published title.
You can help Wensick’s book stay up on the list by purchasing a copy!