Lo! Step 3 of my scheme unfolds before your very eyes! But wait! what is this? Rather than admit to nefarious and dastardly goals, I have it on good authority that I ought to confound your expectations by disseminating that I am reformed. I no longer harbor ambitions of global revolution and worship. I merely wish to better inform the world about certain writers who I think deserve praise and a spotlight on their faces.
The interview is a little later than usual, because I had to track the
victim guest down (apparently I was looking for the wrong person). But I get besides myself.
Ladies and gentlemen,
This time, I have the pleasure to introduce a fabulous man, who readily admits to being an author of Bizarro fiction and an inevitable in-swirl of zero-dimensional points and a poet, painter, musician, filmmaker, dancer, geneticist, geologist, vampire, and idiot. Yes, of course, I’m talking about none other than Andrew Wayne Adams!
LeakyLibido: Hello sir. This week I thought it would be nice to change the pace of these interviews. So, if you can answer all my questions in less than 250 words, you will win a prize. I feel this will encourage people to truly believe I have adopted a kinder outlook on life and am truly over my dream of becoming a tyrannical leader and oppressor of men.
So, to begin. Please tell us your name, where you’re from and what you’re about.
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): My name is Andy. I’m from the American Midwest. I’m about 6’ 2”.
LeakyLibido: Awesome. Hi, Andy. What are you up to these days?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): I’m writing death threats to myself, and I’m promoting my book Janitor of Planet Anilingus, which came out as part of the 2012 New Bizarro Author Series, published by Eraserhead Press.
LeakyLibido: Well somebody has to do it, might as well be you.
Obviously, your book has a title which will immediately put people off. But as somebody who has read your book, I can safely say that it is so much more than that. It has genuine emotion and some considerable philosophy behind it. The fact that it is wrapped up in a cover with the title “Janitor of Planet Anilingus” on it makes it all the more compelling to me.
Given that you manage to mix the scatological with the sublime and make both stronger for it, I am curious about what was it that made you want to write?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): I always loved to read, so I wanted to take part in that from the other side, the creative side. I always wanted to build things but never knew how. When I was young I spent a lot of time trying to figure out the design for a machine that could rip a hole in space. I wanted to control reality. I hated being bored, and I was bored a lot. I’m afraid to die.
LeakyLibido: Oh wow. I see you had ideas even grander than my own. Fabulous! But what was it that made you interested in Bizarro fiction?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): Because I love weird things. I love weird things so much that I want to insert them into my body.
LeakyLibido: Ah, of course. I think we all know where abouts in your body you mean. Moving on swiftly, who are some of your favourite authors?
Andrew Wayne Adams: William S. Burroughs, Antonin Artaud, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Franz Kafka, R. L. Stine, Sam Pink, Carlton Mellick III, H. P. Lovecraft, Samuel Beckett, Hakim Bey, R. L. Stine, Aleister Crowley, Friedrich Nietzsche, Martin Heidegger, R. L. Stine, Philip K. Dick, Kurt Vonnegut, Stephen King, R. L. Stine.
LeakyLibido: Some really cool inspirations there. I am particularly impressed to see Antonin Artaud in there. What inspires you outside of writing?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): Ed Gein.
LeakyLibido: The man was wonderful. It’s always exciting to find a fellow enthusiast. Do you listen to any music while you write?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): Binaural beats. Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima.
LeakyLibido: That explains a lot. I mean, a LOT. Let’s roll with that whole horror of the atomic bomb: what is one thing you hate? And I’m not asking because you happen to love two philosophers who are associated with Nazism, rightly or wrongly.
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): Judgment.
LeakyLibido: I didn’t mean… I just… The whole Nietzsche and the Nazis thing… Just, what do you love?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): Judgment.
LeakyLibido: Oh dear… I can feel it. You’re doing it now! Judging me for judging you! Look, I don’t care if you’re a Nazi, many people are. Oh jeez, why don’t you tell me your life philosophy in 5 words?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): Yes yes yes yes yes.
LeakyLibido: Oh, I see. You’re an ironic Nazi. A complete libertine. That explains the title of your book. Well, whatever floats your boat. Nietzschean philosophy does implore you to dance and enjoy life. As a writer, you obviously enjoy coffee, but how do you enjoy it?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): Black.
LeakyLibido: And finally,do you have any short stories online?
Andrew Wayne Adams (genuinely): A few. You can find links to all of them on my blog: andrewwayneadams.blogspot.com. You can also find coupons for beef jerky there.
LeakyLibido: Thank you, Andy, it’s been a pleasure. Oh, you’ve gone.
Andrew Wayne Adams (probably not genuinely anymore): What’s that? I was just leaving. Did you ask me something?
LeakyLibido: No. But is there anything you want to say before you go?
Andrew Wayne Adams (definitely did not say this): Yes. LeakyLibido is one hell of a blog. If I could, I would have surgery to alter my appearance and become the fifth best LeakyLibido impersonator.
LeakyLibido: Thank you! Buy Andy’s book people! It really is superb.
END OF INTERVIEW
Well, thank you for reading peeps. That wasn’t so bad, was it? You could hardly tell I had ulterior motives for producing it, could you? Check out my other interviews in the series:
*Andy Adams is a great guy, and if you believe he is a Nazi and that affects your opinion on him, then check yourself, fascist.
** Support local bookstores and small press publishers!