Kevin L. Donihe reveals some of the more interesting yet less well known facts about the Walrus

Bizarro Central

Got my facts straight this time. Here we go:

 

The walrus takes pride in its wrinkly roadmap skin.

The walrus has a penile bone, and wants you to know it.

The walrus has private names for the places it goes, the things it loves and the things it eats.

The walrus is fluent in 700 languages, none of which are human.

The walrus has no need for guile or artifice.

The walrus knows love and hate in equal measure.

The walrus has vision so powerful it can glimpse the soul.

The walrus has mastered telekinesis.

The walrus only appears to die.

The walrus is older than the oldest thing.

The walrus transcends all notions of time and space.

The walrus understands your hopes and fears.

The walrus wants to be your friend.

The walrus wants to be your only friend.

The walrus waits inside of you.

The walrus can…

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