I think God might have lobotomised Himself. I don’t blame Him. I can’t get an objective view of what my constant complaining to Him is like exactly, but I have a pretty good idea. People tell me that I annoy the fuck out of them.
I left a dozen answer phone messages for Him just today, and I’ll leave a dozen more tomorrow. He’ll pick up one of these days, by accident or whatever, and when He does, I’ll give Him an earful. Christ knows I’ve got a lot to say to Him.
I called Him a cunt because He ignored me for several days after I asked Him a question, thinking that would get some kind of a retaliation, but the cunt just carried on ignoring me. I thought maybe it was that I just wasn’t important to Him any more. Maybe He found a new thing to play with. Maybe He just got out before He did something He would regret. After all, there’s only so many years worth of resentment towards somebody a person can store before they have to bludgeon that person’s head to smithereens, right? Maybe He terminated our relationship before it went too far, before I got the wrong impression. Maybe I was just wrong for him.
I thought God was better than these kinds of head games – the doubt, the worry – God knows what kind of fucked up thoughts I have when I am left to ponder on the absence of a sign. Just a little kiss, or a “fuck you” even! I would be satisfied at least. But I guess my satisfaction is not of God’s concern. His satisfaction isn’t of my concern, I know that for sure.
I did apologise for calling Him such a nasty name, but even that wasn’t enough to get anything back. If I ever saw Him, I’d slap Him hard across the face and see how He ignores me then – Not if He actually has lobotomised Himself, that would just be weird. Like slapping a coma victim… But if I saw Him flirting with another? Man, that would just drive me up the wall with anger. I wouldn’t help but fly into a frenzy and fatal flying guillotine His omniscient head clean off His omnipotent shoulders.